Somewhere along the way, we’ve made self-care feel complicated. Like it has to be a grand gesture or something we earn only after a long, exhausting day. But the truth is, self-care isn’t something to squeeze in between obligations. It’s how we build the foundation that allows us to meet those obligations with strength and grace.
How I Learned That Self-Care Is Strength, Not Sacrifice
For me personally, I prioritize movement in my day the same way I prioritize nourishing my body with food—because both fuel me and make me the strongest versions of myself. It’s also about honoring my boundaries, learning to say 'no' more so that I can be intentional with my 'yes', and carving out time to check in with myself. These seemingly small, steady acts are how I show up fully—for my work, my relationships, and most importantly, for myself.
I grew up with a mother figure who always put herself last. Her love was endless, but her needs were always an afterthought. I watched her give and give, and somewhere along the way, I internalized the idea that care meant self-sacrifice. She is the kind of mom who will always take the burnt toast. But as I’ve done my own healing, I’ve come to see that true self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
It’s the practice of meeting yourself where you are and giving yourself what you need to stay whole. Watching my mom taught me what it means to love without limits—but it also taught me how easily we lose ourselves when we never put ourselves first. As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that self-sacrifice isn’t the same as care. When I abandon my own needs, I’m not showing up as the best version of myself—I’m showing up depleted. True care means including myself in the circle of compassion I extend to everyone else.
I haven’t experienced motherhood in the traditional sense, but I’ve come to see there are many ways to mother. My business is something I’ve birthed and nurtured—it’s required love, patience, and protection. And becoming an auntie four years ago opened a part of my heart I didn’t know needed healing. It gave me a deeper sense of responsibility—not just to love them, but to model what it means to stand in your worth. It made me reflect on how I speak to myself, how I navigate doubt, and how I show up in the world. One of the most powerful things I can do for them is nurture my own confidence—so they grow up watching self-love, resilience, and softness in action and never feel uncomfortable taking up space.
So to all the mothers, aunties, caretakers, nurturers, and anyone holding space for others—this is your reminder that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the quiet, consistent act of choosing yourself. And it is the most powerful way to show up for the world around you. You deserve to feel loved, supported, and rooted in your own care—because when you do, everything you pour into the world becomes that much more powerful.
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In Hawaii, we call the time spent causally chatting with dear friends Talk Story. Sharing what’s new and being there for the things that matter most. We invite you to join the Leahlani community as we explore skincare and much more.
